Merry Christmas!

I wasn't expecting to write a blog post on Christmas Day, but there is a short lull in the activity this afternoon.  Merry Christmas to all of our friends and family!

Big News?  Nope.
Sorry, there hasn't been any exciting adoption news as of late, but things have been very quiet.  We are getting a lot of practice in waiting on the Lord and trusting in his perfect timing for our family.  

Workin' Girl (one or two days per week)
I decided this Fall that I had better dip my feet into teaching again for a while.  I have started substituting with the public school district and the Catholic school district.  I have only had two days of work so far, and apparently, it can only get better from here.  They were two tough days, one taught without a sub plan.  My thought on returning to work was that I should teach again before we get a placement so that I don't totally lose touch with the profession.  I plan to be at home with our children, so once we get a placement I will be home for another 4-5 years at least.  I am hoping to really enjoy the subbing!

Christmas Fun
It has been a great Christmas season with lots of activity going on.   We've hosted our community group for a Christmas party, been skating on Cold Lake, had appetizers with our awesome neighbours, sang carols at our church Christmas Eve service, and are soon expecting friends to come over for appetizers and games with the kids!  We've opened our gifts to each other and feel incredibly blessed and spoiled. 

I really feel loved by my husband after receiving so many thoughtful gifts from him this year. He topped it off with a very special gift in my stocking: ANTI-CELLULITE body wash! Bahahahahaha! He swears that he didn't notice the anti-cellulite part written in huge letters on the top of the box.  Sure.  Not subtle, Ben.  Lol.

Just think of the cellulite you can dissolve with all 20 uses of this body wash filled sponge scrubber! 

We're heading to my mom and dad's place for Christmas celebrations with my extended family this weekend and I am guessing that less insulting gifts are in my future :)  I will be receiving the 'favourite things' of each of my sisters and mom, and they will all be given my 'favourite thing.'  This is a new gifting plan that we started last year and has been great so far!  I am guessing that anti-cellulite body wash won't be the favourite thing of any of those fine ladies.

Secretly, I can't wait to use it.  It sounds easier than exercising and dieting, haha.

Thank you
I also wanted to say thank you to a couple of dear friends who donated something towards our adoption agency silent auction fundraiser happening in March!  It really helps Ben and I to feel supported in this adoption endeavour and we are so grateful!

Merry Christmas, everyone!  We wish you the Lord's richest blessings in 2015!

New Profile Book!!!

I've learned a few things since creating our first adoption profile book last October (2013). Before I made our first book, I had looked at a lot of other people's books and had some great ideas.  I spent hours and hours on the first book, redoing pages, changing pictures and rewriting pretty much everything.  I actually really like to final product!

However, since I made the book, a year has now gone by.  I have been inspired by many other profile books, and have read more about what should be included.  Our family has changed a lot in that time as well.  Our Logan is no longer a baby or even a toddler, so pictures of him in those much earlier stages are a little confusing.

After viewing a profile book at the spring training seminar and noticing that they had included the baby's nursery, I wanted badly to work on our nursery and include it in our next book.  I thought that for birth families it would be neat to be able to picture the room that their child would sleep in and play in.

I think this book is more modern than the first one, and has many more current pictures. I focused on replacing the pictures that were dark or a little grainy, and made sure that the book represents our family as it is now.  It is important that when you meet a birth parent, you look pretty much how you do in your album.  I also rewrote most of the written aspects of the book.  Since spending the last year reading about adoption and receiving some training, our views on adoption have evolved and I wanted our profile to accurately express how we see open adoption.  

So, here is the updated album (about 2/3 of it anyways)! 

while we wait...

A funny thing happens when you are presented with the idea that you may be bringing home a baby (or two) in a couple days.  For about five days we weren't sure if we would get chosen as adoptive parents for two babies that had just been born, and wow did that ever bring to light all of the many things that I had planned/hoped to get finished.  Those things that only really happen when you are under the gun and just have too.... like painting the three or four rooms in the house that we have never painted (and we have lived here for four years)... making a quilt for our master bedroom... getting caught up on photo albums... doing a couple of small scale renos like door handles and a bathroom refresh... Yeah.  And the list is longer than that too.   

Overall, what I realized it that I better keep up with life so that when our adoption opportunity does come, we will be at least sort of ready!  And by sort of ready, I mean, not totally bogged down with to dos.  Who is ever completely ready for an adoption anyways?

So, with the possible adoption opportunity ending last week, I kicked into gear.  I managed to paint our upstairs hallway, which happens to have a measly six doors and two closets...yup, ridiculous amount of cutting in.

Yes, this is one of the most exciting pictures I have taken, lol.  The walls used to be a brown/peach colour.

I also ordered up some material for a master bedroom quilt.  The colours are blue, orange and white, so I had better get painting the forest green bedroom soon as well.  The quilt will be in a triangle pattern.  I wanted to choose something simple that I could make in just a few days so that it doesn't end up taking over my fall/winter.  These are some of the fabrics in the set I ordered!

Here is a sample my 2012 family photo book!!!  This was a project that I started last winter, so finishing it this week felt really good.  I may now get going on 2013 as well.  

Also, we were given a new adoption book to read when we were at our seminar earlier this month, The Open Adoption Experience, by Lois Ruskai Melina and Sharon Kaplan Roszia.  I have read a few chapters so far and I think that it may take me a while to read. It is so full of information and adoption stories that just a few pages gives you enough to think about for a few days.

I don't know if people ever really feel caught up with life, but I figured I should try.  I have really been enjoying all of these projects and they have given me somewhere positive to focus some of my energy.  I don't always feel like we are waiting, and I think that is because we keep busy.  I think I have enough here to consume for free time for a few months :).

I pray that Ben and I can wait well.  I don't want to be sad or discouraged.  I want to be prepared and excited.  

First Time in the Stack

Well, after last week's post about the Fall Training Seminar, and the discouraging stats for the year at the agency (3 adoptions so far this year, compared to 11 last year), an opportunity to adopt came as a surprise to us a few days ago! 

An update email told us about an opportunity for an adoption and that we could all choose if we would like our profiles included. After considering the specific complications that came with this adoption and praying about it, we decided to say yes to having our profile shown to the couple.

We know that the Lord has a plan in place for our adoption, and we decided that by leaving our arms open, God would be able to move.  He would either cause the couple to select us or select someone else.  

It was our first experience having our book included in the stack of profile books given to the birth parents.  I must say it was hard to think about much else during the past week! Thankfully we were away for Thanksgiving weekend and a family wedding, so we had a lot of fun things going on to keep us busy.

Getting the email that told us we were not chosen was interesting.  It was a little bit sad, and yes, I shed a few tears, but we know that the little hunnies weren't meant to be ours. We are choosing to see the good.  A couple on our agency list has been blessed with an adoption (though they now need to get through some time of waiting for things to finalize), and we are bumped down the list one spot.  

Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart.  Psalms 27:14

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.  Proverbs 3:5,6

Whatever is true, pure, lovely, excellent, or praiseworthy, think on such things.  Philippians 4:8

For I know the One in whom I trust, and I know that He is able.  2 Timothy 1:12

The pain that you have been feeling cannot compare to the joy that is coming.  Romans 18:8

These scriptures can relate to our adoption experiences, and I am thankful that I have His word to lean on for reassurances.  It is easy to get discouraged when you know very little about the future for your family.  

Honestly though, most couples wait a long time for an adoption, often more than two years.  We are just at the beginning. 

All is well.

Fall Adoption Training Seminar

It was so good to get together with other waiting and adoptive families for our training seminar this past weekend!  I would like to say that it was super fun, lively, and inspiring.  However, I think that the words emotional, draining, info-packed, and... I don't want to say it, but... discouraging, are a little more accurate.  

The emotions brought up by a good interview with a birth mom who placed her child just five months ago aren't necessarily a bad thing, but they do kinda add to the draining factor.  I can't seem to hold it together very well when I listen to a birth mom tell the story of how she came to the decision to relinquish her child.  

Listening to the birth mom explain how she chose the family for her child was interesting and will no doubt be helpful as I revamp our profile book this month!  After she described looking through a profile book of a couple who showed off all of their awesome travel photos, she said, "I am looking for a loving home for my baby, not a destination!"  Uh oh, better count how many vacation photos I put in our profile book.  Then she described the things about the family's profile that helped her to know that it was the right one for her.  In what they wrote, they had emphasized their love for the Lord and their focus on raising their children in a home with strong Christian values.  From everything I have read or heard so far, it really seems that the birth moms just know when they have found the right family.  We can't all write the same things, or the right things, or have the perfect set of family pictures that will be sure to get us chosen.  I have to continually remind myself that God has all of this down already.  He knows who will choose us (if indeed that is His plan), and nothing that I can do with our profile will change the outcome.  

I sure can't stop tinkering with that photo book online though, lol.  

The seminar was info-packed, to say the least.  Our topics this time centred around the time when you get the call, and what all occurs between then and the adoption finalization.   A lot.  That is what happens.  And, it is different every time.  No two adoptions go the same, and it appears that there is no real textbook scenario for how this all goes down.  When the baby is born, the birth mom will sign papers a day or two later.  Then, after the papers are signed, ten days need to pass before you are out of the woods.  Until midnight on the 10th day, the birth mom can change her mind.  This gives her a chance to continue to think through her decision.  Fortunately, a lot of counselling goes on before the birth in hopes that she will be quite certain ahead of time.  

We were given some advice about what to do during this time.  It was suggested that we ask if we can take some pictures of each person (maybe some of the birth mom and her family members) with the baby, and print them off to give to the birth mom before she leaves the hospital.  We were also advised to keep in touch with the birth mom throughout the 10 days and offer opportunities to visit, in order to reassure her that her child is safe and well.  We were also told that this will be the hardest 10 days of our life.  We will have a baby with us, but it won't be truly ours.  

I think that I may need to pray a bit during this time.  

After that the baby bliss begins!  Actually, I believe that is when the sleepless nights and spit-up on the sweater begins.

There was a lot more information talk, but I will spare you the details.  I think that it was the sheer amount of information that made it draining.  Like, when your brain has reached its max information uptake for the day, but there is still three hours left in the seminar.

So, the discouraging part.  I was so hoping to hear this weekend that a whole ton of adoptions had gone through since the last seminar, and that we are just cruising down the list of waiting families, soon to be shown to expectant parents.  Uh, no.  That is about the opposite of how things have gone the past six months at CAS.  Not only has there been only three adoptions completed this whole calendar year, but one adoption was revoked before the ten day period.  This stat is an anomaly for the agency as last year they placed 11 babies and the year before it was around nine or so.  Anyways, what this means for us, is that we are no closer to getting a placement.  While it does depend on the birth mom choosing us, we also have be close enough to the top of the list that our profile will be shown.

I have to keep all of this information in perspective though.  A fellow adoption blogger had this quote on one of her posts recently, and I really identify with it.  

All things are made beautiful in His time,  Ecclesiastes 3:11.  God needs us to wait.  So we will wait.  And we will pray for our birth mother, and for the baby we will eventually call son or daughter.

The Nursery!

What do you I do while we wait?  Well, I probably spend a little too much time thinking about and planning the nursery!  Who says you can't nest if you are waiting for an adoption placement?  Hubby, on the other hand, doesn't feel the need to get too much nursery stuff done and so, sad to say, half of my nursery is still an office :)   

There are a few different opinions out there about when the right time is to get the baby's room ready and when to buy supplies:

1. Get it all ready as soon as you are approved to adopt and then close the door.

2.  Get it all ready as soon as you are approved to adopt and then go in and out of the room several times a day...sit in the chair...dream about baby....tweak the room a bit....think about what else you need to buy...etc...etc...etc...

3. Get it ready once you have been chosen by a birthmother (which sometimes happens at the time of birth, so you may have 2 months - no time at all). With this option it is possible that you will have to do the nursery while you have the baby already at home!  Yikes! 

4. Do only the bare minimum until the adoption is past the crucial 10 day period (adoptions can be revoked before the 10 days).  With this option you would buy diapers and other essentials only.

For us, we had to make a few compromises :)  Ben was thinking that if I put my heart into doing up the room and making a quilt for the baby, and then we never got chosen or it took a long time (2-3 years), that it would be too hard on us (especially me, lol). We would eventually have to take it all apart and sell everything.  While that possibility is quite real, I still really wanted to get everything ready once we were approved!  I couldn't see myself feeling ready unless I physically had the room done!  

And, I just really wanted to do it :)

So..... here is the progress:

The first move I made in doing up this room was to choose some cool fabrics for the baby's quilt!
Making quilts is one of my favourite things to do, and sewing this one for the baby was very special to me.  I chose
a pinwheel pattern because I think it is just so classic and cutesy.

You may not notice, but I still need to sew the outer binding onto this quilt :)

This is a bird mobile that I sewed before Logan was born.  I did a gender neutral nursery
 that time too, so it was easy to work it into this room. 

This is a vintage applique quilt that my mom made sometime in the 70's.  Each square has a different
adorable picture and I just love it!

These little cowboy boots were handed down to us by Ben's nieces :)  They have now
been worn by 3 little ones.

So, as you can see, Ben let me go for it in there ;)  I avoided taking pictures of the other side of the room that has the office desk and printer, lol.  That side will be the future home of the change table/dresser. I know that this room will slowly evolve as we wait and as I get new ideas.  Somewhere in there I would like to add some artwork with the text, "you are so loved."   

And the story begins part 2

The decision to adopt now had been an easy one.  We had considered it years earlier, before Logan, and said that we would probably revisit the idea later on.  We were so excited to get the process started!  We feel that being called to this amazing path will be such a blessing to us.  We are learning so much with every step that we take.  

When the time came for us to put some real adoption plans into place I started researching online.  We didn't know very much at this point about what agencies were out there, or which one we should choose.  I had known of families who had adopted or were currently adopting through Christian Adoption Services, so that was the first agency that I looked into.  There are two other private adoption agencies in Alberta as well, Adoption By Choice, and Adoption Options.  I made a few phone calls and ordered the application packages.  When speaking with the ladies at the agencies it became apparent that the statistics for how long families wait before they have a child placed is very similar among the agencies.  Usually, you are waiting two to three years.  Of course, there is a chance of a shorter wait period and a chance at a longer one.  With birthmothers choosing the family for their child, it doesn't go in the order of how long a family has waited.

In the end, we decided to go with Christian Adoption Services for a couple of reasons.  When I phoned, I was able to talk to someone who had been with the agency for 20 or more years.  She was knowledgeable and kind, and ready to answer my questions.  The cool thing was, I told her that I really didn't know what to ask, that I was trying to determine which agency we should apply with, but that I didn't even know where to start!  She then told me all of the basics, including what things I should weigh when making our choice.  One of biggest things that solidified our choice was that the agency is small.  We have a chance to KNOW the ladies who work there, and they KNOW who we are as well.  Since there are about 20-30 waiting families, we are not lost in a crowd.  I'm not sure how big Adoption by Choice is, but at Adoption Options, there were over 150 waiting families when I contacted them.  When I phone CAS (Christian Adoption Services) or send an email we get a quick reply from one of the ladies that we've met or already spoken with on the phone.  I know that it might sound like a small thing, but when going through something as emotionally charged and personal as an adoption application, home study, wait period, and actual adoption, I appreciate knowing who the small group of ladies are that we will be working with.  The other clincher for us, is their mandate.  Not only are they facilitating adoptions, they are doing it with the worldview of Christianity.  Their mission is to "demonstrate the love and compassion of Jesus Christ by placing children in permanent and loving families."  Sharing a faith in God really helped us to connect with CAS.

Don't get me wrong, I think that the other two agencies would have been excellent choices as well; we just had to go with the good feeling we got after speaking with CAS.

Once we had made our decision and got working on the application package, the feeling of urgency was pretty strong!  All of a sudden, knowing that the application and home study would take several months was a painful thought.  Why hadn't we started this earlier?

This is getting to be a pretty long post, so I will continue with the application process in my next post.  

Our Road to Adoption

Welcome to my first blog!!!  Having a blog is never something I have thought about doing until now... now that we are going through the adoption process.  We are now waiting to adopt in Alberta, Canada, through Christian Adoption Services.

As Ben and I started to look into adoption I found myself reading information books and information websites, but mostly, people's stories.  Out of all of the things I have read, the blogs written by families who were adopting helped me the most.  So, I thought maybe I would do the same!  

If our story is able to help anyone learn more about how adoption works in Alberta, or about what it is like to go through the process, or about the fact that there are families ready and excited to adopt, then I will consider it a success!

This is also a way for us to keep our friends and family up to date on our adoption process, share in our waiting, and share in our excitement!

I hope that you enjoy reading this blog.  I plan to update it as things happen.....which can take a while...we are talking about adoption here, lol.  I will need to do a few posts to catch up to where we are now in the process, and I will be working on those right away.  Please feel free to comment on any of my posts!