Spring Training Seminar

Back in April we were able to take part in session one of two required adoption training seminars led by CAS.  I had no idea just how valuable this training would be and we are glad that CAS offers this kind of training prior to making a placement.  While we have been reading up on adoption and what to expect, the more we get into the process, the more we realize we don't know!  

Both the spring and fall training seminars must be completed before our profile book will be shown to expectant mothers. 

The full day spring session covered topics like living with infertility, and open adoption relationships.This seminar was also a fantastic opportunity for us to meet 11 other couples that are currently waiting to adopt in Alberta (though a few were just in the checking-it-out stage) through CAS.  We sat at tables with other couples and shared our stories and hopes!  Being in a room with so many other infertile couples, all of whom have felt the pain of that loss, was really encouraging for us.  We were able to discuss how it is to live with so many fertile couples around us who either have children or are expecting.  The pain in the room was palpable.  Some couples had suffered miscarriages, others IVF failures, and others had been waiting many years and not been chosen.  Others had gone through failed adoption through foster care situations or had babies revoked before the adoption completion date. Ben and I couldn't help but feel a little extra thankful for our son.

We were able to look through some of the older profile books that families had with the agency.  This gave me a lot of ideas on how I can update our book latter this fall.  There was also a table of adoption related books and other resources that we could look through.

Later in the seminar we got to meet with an adoptive mom, dad, and their three year old son.  The little boy's birth dad and birth grandparents also came.  They shared a little bit of their story, and then let us ask them any questions we wanted to ask!   This was an awesome opportunity to see first hand how an open adoption relationship could potentially function.  I kept looking to see how the little boy interacted with his dad and with his birth dad.  I would say that his interactions with his birth dad were about equivalent to how you might expect an uncle and nephew to interact.  He was bringing his birth dad carrots from the food table, and talking with him a little bit.  With his dad, however, he was very close.  He was sitting on the floor near his feet and playing with toys, coming up onto his lap and cuddling, then going down to play again.  The physical and emotion bond appeared very strong!  

We concluded the afternoon by listening to and interviewing a birth mother who had placed her daughter roughly a year before.  That was a very eye opening experience!  There was not a dry eye in the room as she described what she all went through and how she made her decision to place.  She shared a lot about the ups and downs of her open relationship with the adoptive family.  Overall, I think we learned most about the things that we can do to make this better for the birth mom. Through communication and consistency, whether it be in regards to visitation or sending photos, we will need to be very clear about what her expectations are, and what our expectations are.  She really needed to feel like the lines of communication were open and dependable in order to feel at all comfortable as the months went on after the placement.  She had both Ben and I, and many others, in tears several times as she spoke about her emotional roller coaster after the placement.  Though I thought I had empathy for birth mothers before, I now have seen firsthand just how painful this process is for them and I know that I will have a lot of love and understanding for our birth mother.  Honestly, the thought of the sadness for her overwhelms me even as I write this.  

We are very excited to be attending the fall training seminar this October!  Here is the flyer:

CHRISTIAN  ADOPTION  SERVICES

AUTUMN ADOPTION WORKSHOP

Surviving the Real World of Open Adoption

 The “Nuts and Bolts” Session

You have been matched with a birthmother and have made it through that nerve-wracking first meeting. You receive the call that your birthmother has gone into labour.  What now? At this session we will walk you through the hospital process and the 10 days after the Consent is signed.  We will run through possible open adoption scenarios and we will discuss topics such as: “Will I feel like the child’s mother when the birth mother is visiting?”, “Am I the “real” mother/father?”, and “How legal is an open adoption?”  

Hear from a birthmother and from a family who have adopted through us.

Bring your own questions.

This is one part of a two-part required course for all of our domestic couples. 

If you’ve been waiting on the list a while, feel free to come again; this would be a great refresher!!

Call to register; there is no charge to couples already in our parent bank.  The cost is $250 if you are not yet on the waiting list and will be applied to your fees should you proceed to the parent bank. Lunch and refreshments will be provided. 

Phone Sandy at 403 256-3224 or toll free at 1 877 256-3224.

Sounds like it is going to be a great seminar!  Updates to follow :)