Fall Adoption Training Seminar

It was so good to get together with other waiting and adoptive families for our training seminar this past weekend!  I would like to say that it was super fun, lively, and inspiring.  However, I think that the words emotional, draining, info-packed, and... I don't want to say it, but... discouraging, are a little more accurate.  

The emotions brought up by a good interview with a birth mom who placed her child just five months ago aren't necessarily a bad thing, but they do kinda add to the draining factor.  I can't seem to hold it together very well when I listen to a birth mom tell the story of how she came to the decision to relinquish her child.  

Listening to the birth mom explain how she chose the family for her child was interesting and will no doubt be helpful as I revamp our profile book this month!  After she described looking through a profile book of a couple who showed off all of their awesome travel photos, she said, "I am looking for a loving home for my baby, not a destination!"  Uh oh, better count how many vacation photos I put in our profile book.  Then she described the things about the family's profile that helped her to know that it was the right one for her.  In what they wrote, they had emphasized their love for the Lord and their focus on raising their children in a home with strong Christian values.  From everything I have read or heard so far, it really seems that the birth moms just know when they have found the right family.  We can't all write the same things, or the right things, or have the perfect set of family pictures that will be sure to get us chosen.  I have to continually remind myself that God has all of this down already.  He knows who will choose us (if indeed that is His plan), and nothing that I can do with our profile will change the outcome.  

I sure can't stop tinkering with that photo book online though, lol.  

The seminar was info-packed, to say the least.  Our topics this time centred around the time when you get the call, and what all occurs between then and the adoption finalization.   A lot.  That is what happens.  And, it is different every time.  No two adoptions go the same, and it appears that there is no real textbook scenario for how this all goes down.  When the baby is born, the birth mom will sign papers a day or two later.  Then, after the papers are signed, ten days need to pass before you are out of the woods.  Until midnight on the 10th day, the birth mom can change her mind.  This gives her a chance to continue to think through her decision.  Fortunately, a lot of counselling goes on before the birth in hopes that she will be quite certain ahead of time.  

We were given some advice about what to do during this time.  It was suggested that we ask if we can take some pictures of each person (maybe some of the birth mom and her family members) with the baby, and print them off to give to the birth mom before she leaves the hospital.  We were also advised to keep in touch with the birth mom throughout the 10 days and offer opportunities to visit, in order to reassure her that her child is safe and well.  We were also told that this will be the hardest 10 days of our life.  We will have a baby with us, but it won't be truly ours.  

I think that I may need to pray a bit during this time.  

After that the baby bliss begins!  Actually, I believe that is when the sleepless nights and spit-up on the sweater begins.

There was a lot more information talk, but I will spare you the details.  I think that it was the sheer amount of information that made it draining.  Like, when your brain has reached its max information uptake for the day, but there is still three hours left in the seminar.

So, the discouraging part.  I was so hoping to hear this weekend that a whole ton of adoptions had gone through since the last seminar, and that we are just cruising down the list of waiting families, soon to be shown to expectant parents.  Uh, no.  That is about the opposite of how things have gone the past six months at CAS.  Not only has there been only three adoptions completed this whole calendar year, but one adoption was revoked before the ten day period.  This stat is an anomaly for the agency as last year they placed 11 babies and the year before it was around nine or so.  Anyways, what this means for us, is that we are no closer to getting a placement.  While it does depend on the birth mom choosing us, we also have be close enough to the top of the list that our profile will be shown.

I have to keep all of this information in perspective though.  A fellow adoption blogger had this quote on one of her posts recently, and I really identify with it.  

All things are made beautiful in His time,  Ecclesiastes 3:11.  God needs us to wait.  So we will wait.  And we will pray for our birth mother, and for the baby we will eventually call son or daughter.