New Profile Book!!!

I've learned a few things since creating our first adoption profile book last October (2013). Before I made our first book, I had looked at a lot of other people's books and had some great ideas.  I spent hours and hours on the first book, redoing pages, changing pictures and rewriting pretty much everything.  I actually really like to final product!

However, since I made the book, a year has now gone by.  I have been inspired by many other profile books, and have read more about what should be included.  Our family has changed a lot in that time as well.  Our Logan is no longer a baby or even a toddler, so pictures of him in those much earlier stages are a little confusing.

After viewing a profile book at the spring training seminar and noticing that they had included the baby's nursery, I wanted badly to work on our nursery and include it in our next book.  I thought that for birth families it would be neat to be able to picture the room that their child would sleep in and play in.

I think this book is more modern than the first one, and has many more current pictures. I focused on replacing the pictures that were dark or a little grainy, and made sure that the book represents our family as it is now.  It is important that when you meet a birth parent, you look pretty much how you do in your album.  I also rewrote most of the written aspects of the book.  Since spending the last year reading about adoption and receiving some training, our views on adoption have evolved and I wanted our profile to accurately express how we see open adoption.  

So, here is the updated album (about 2/3 of it anyways)! 

while we wait...

A funny thing happens when you are presented with the idea that you may be bringing home a baby (or two) in a couple days.  For about five days we weren't sure if we would get chosen as adoptive parents for two babies that had just been born, and wow did that ever bring to light all of the many things that I had planned/hoped to get finished.  Those things that only really happen when you are under the gun and just have too.... like painting the three or four rooms in the house that we have never painted (and we have lived here for four years)... making a quilt for our master bedroom... getting caught up on photo albums... doing a couple of small scale renos like door handles and a bathroom refresh... Yeah.  And the list is longer than that too.   

Overall, what I realized it that I better keep up with life so that when our adoption opportunity does come, we will be at least sort of ready!  And by sort of ready, I mean, not totally bogged down with to dos.  Who is ever completely ready for an adoption anyways?

So, with the possible adoption opportunity ending last week, I kicked into gear.  I managed to paint our upstairs hallway, which happens to have a measly six doors and two closets...yup, ridiculous amount of cutting in.

Yes, this is one of the most exciting pictures I have taken, lol.  The walls used to be a brown/peach colour.

I also ordered up some material for a master bedroom quilt.  The colours are blue, orange and white, so I had better get painting the forest green bedroom soon as well.  The quilt will be in a triangle pattern.  I wanted to choose something simple that I could make in just a few days so that it doesn't end up taking over my fall/winter.  These are some of the fabrics in the set I ordered!

Here is a sample my 2012 family photo book!!!  This was a project that I started last winter, so finishing it this week felt really good.  I may now get going on 2013 as well.  

Also, we were given a new adoption book to read when we were at our seminar earlier this month, The Open Adoption Experience, by Lois Ruskai Melina and Sharon Kaplan Roszia.  I have read a few chapters so far and I think that it may take me a while to read. It is so full of information and adoption stories that just a few pages gives you enough to think about for a few days.

I don't know if people ever really feel caught up with life, but I figured I should try.  I have really been enjoying all of these projects and they have given me somewhere positive to focus some of my energy.  I don't always feel like we are waiting, and I think that is because we keep busy.  I think I have enough here to consume for free time for a few months :).

I pray that Ben and I can wait well.  I don't want to be sad or discouraged.  I want to be prepared and excited.  

First Time in the Stack

Well, after last week's post about the Fall Training Seminar, and the discouraging stats for the year at the agency (3 adoptions so far this year, compared to 11 last year), an opportunity to adopt came as a surprise to us a few days ago! 

An update email told us about an opportunity for an adoption and that we could all choose if we would like our profiles included. After considering the specific complications that came with this adoption and praying about it, we decided to say yes to having our profile shown to the couple.

We know that the Lord has a plan in place for our adoption, and we decided that by leaving our arms open, God would be able to move.  He would either cause the couple to select us or select someone else.  

It was our first experience having our book included in the stack of profile books given to the birth parents.  I must say it was hard to think about much else during the past week! Thankfully we were away for Thanksgiving weekend and a family wedding, so we had a lot of fun things going on to keep us busy.

Getting the email that told us we were not chosen was interesting.  It was a little bit sad, and yes, I shed a few tears, but we know that the little hunnies weren't meant to be ours. We are choosing to see the good.  A couple on our agency list has been blessed with an adoption (though they now need to get through some time of waiting for things to finalize), and we are bumped down the list one spot.  

Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart.  Psalms 27:14

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.  Proverbs 3:5,6

Whatever is true, pure, lovely, excellent, or praiseworthy, think on such things.  Philippians 4:8

For I know the One in whom I trust, and I know that He is able.  2 Timothy 1:12

The pain that you have been feeling cannot compare to the joy that is coming.  Romans 18:8

These scriptures can relate to our adoption experiences, and I am thankful that I have His word to lean on for reassurances.  It is easy to get discouraged when you know very little about the future for your family.  

Honestly though, most couples wait a long time for an adoption, often more than two years.  We are just at the beginning. 

All is well.

Fall Adoption Training Seminar

It was so good to get together with other waiting and adoptive families for our training seminar this past weekend!  I would like to say that it was super fun, lively, and inspiring.  However, I think that the words emotional, draining, info-packed, and... I don't want to say it, but... discouraging, are a little more accurate.  

The emotions brought up by a good interview with a birth mom who placed her child just five months ago aren't necessarily a bad thing, but they do kinda add to the draining factor.  I can't seem to hold it together very well when I listen to a birth mom tell the story of how she came to the decision to relinquish her child.  

Listening to the birth mom explain how she chose the family for her child was interesting and will no doubt be helpful as I revamp our profile book this month!  After she described looking through a profile book of a couple who showed off all of their awesome travel photos, she said, "I am looking for a loving home for my baby, not a destination!"  Uh oh, better count how many vacation photos I put in our profile book.  Then she described the things about the family's profile that helped her to know that it was the right one for her.  In what they wrote, they had emphasized their love for the Lord and their focus on raising their children in a home with strong Christian values.  From everything I have read or heard so far, it really seems that the birth moms just know when they have found the right family.  We can't all write the same things, or the right things, or have the perfect set of family pictures that will be sure to get us chosen.  I have to continually remind myself that God has all of this down already.  He knows who will choose us (if indeed that is His plan), and nothing that I can do with our profile will change the outcome.  

I sure can't stop tinkering with that photo book online though, lol.  

The seminar was info-packed, to say the least.  Our topics this time centred around the time when you get the call, and what all occurs between then and the adoption finalization.   A lot.  That is what happens.  And, it is different every time.  No two adoptions go the same, and it appears that there is no real textbook scenario for how this all goes down.  When the baby is born, the birth mom will sign papers a day or two later.  Then, after the papers are signed, ten days need to pass before you are out of the woods.  Until midnight on the 10th day, the birth mom can change her mind.  This gives her a chance to continue to think through her decision.  Fortunately, a lot of counselling goes on before the birth in hopes that she will be quite certain ahead of time.  

We were given some advice about what to do during this time.  It was suggested that we ask if we can take some pictures of each person (maybe some of the birth mom and her family members) with the baby, and print them off to give to the birth mom before she leaves the hospital.  We were also advised to keep in touch with the birth mom throughout the 10 days and offer opportunities to visit, in order to reassure her that her child is safe and well.  We were also told that this will be the hardest 10 days of our life.  We will have a baby with us, but it won't be truly ours.  

I think that I may need to pray a bit during this time.  

After that the baby bliss begins!  Actually, I believe that is when the sleepless nights and spit-up on the sweater begins.

There was a lot more information talk, but I will spare you the details.  I think that it was the sheer amount of information that made it draining.  Like, when your brain has reached its max information uptake for the day, but there is still three hours left in the seminar.

So, the discouraging part.  I was so hoping to hear this weekend that a whole ton of adoptions had gone through since the last seminar, and that we are just cruising down the list of waiting families, soon to be shown to expectant parents.  Uh, no.  That is about the opposite of how things have gone the past six months at CAS.  Not only has there been only three adoptions completed this whole calendar year, but one adoption was revoked before the ten day period.  This stat is an anomaly for the agency as last year they placed 11 babies and the year before it was around nine or so.  Anyways, what this means for us, is that we are no closer to getting a placement.  While it does depend on the birth mom choosing us, we also have be close enough to the top of the list that our profile will be shown.

I have to keep all of this information in perspective though.  A fellow adoption blogger had this quote on one of her posts recently, and I really identify with it.  

All things are made beautiful in His time,  Ecclesiastes 3:11.  God needs us to wait.  So we will wait.  And we will pray for our birth mother, and for the baby we will eventually call son or daughter.